All Violators Will Be Shot Then Court-Martialled: Games

Mission Statement

This mainly exists as a(nother) vehicle for me to write, as I live in fear that my vocabulary and linguistic agility is waning with my failure to use it, although I do not wish to spend my time abusing a thesaurus. I prefer to discuss computer games because it means that I avoid the familiarity of writing entirely about myself, which far too many people seem to indulge in excessively. Not that the concept of writing about oneself necessarily produces vast quantities of inane drivel, but if I'm going to write about something that nobody's going to take any notice of, it probably shouldn't be about my daily routine, or lack thereof. Games discussed here are usually personal favourites and/or ones that I feel are overshadowed by other releases, perhaps or perhaps not unfairly so. Some may assume from the title that I'm some sort of fan of Oddworld: Abe's Exoddus, and they would be correct. I cut my teeth on the Commodore Amiga A600, and own/have owned an Amiga A1200, SNES, PS1, PS2, and a PC, although I've played games on other systems. As an indicator of the sorts of games that I play/have played and will therefore bother to review, here's my list of top 20 games (subject to change. Yes, I'm aware that many games were released on multiple systems):-

01: Grim Fandango (1998/PC)
02: Civilization II (1996/PC)
03: Oddworld: Abe's Exoddus (1998/PS1)
04: Cybernetix: The First Battle (1992/Amiga)
05: Beneath A Steel Sky (1994/Amiga/PC)
06: Lemmings (1991/Amiga)
07: Soccer Kid (1993/Amiga)
08: Theme Hospital (1997/PC)
09: Grand Theft Auto (1997/PS1)
10: Hogs Of War (2000/PS1)
11: Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 (2000/PS1)
12: Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge (1991/Amiga)
13: Carmageddon (1997/PC)
14: Transport Tycoon (1994/PC)
15: Streets Of Rage (1991/Genesis)
16: Cannon Fodder 2 (1994/Amiga)
17: The Settlers II (1996/PC)
18: Slam Tilt (1996/Amiga)
19: Medal Of Honour: Underground (2000/PS1)
20: Jackie Chan Stuntmaster (2000/PS1)

About The Author

The Patron Saint Of Spitting In The Wind is the manifestation of a persona that the writer frequently adopts for comic effect in real life situations. It's a personality sewn together out of fragments of who the writer is, and also of things that quite frankly repulse them. Many of us find humour in ludicrous displays of unjustifiable arrogance and self-indulgence that would disgust us if they were demonstrated in a genuine way void of any irony. You're not supposed to love The Patron Saint Of Spitting In The Wind, you just need to take their attitude with a grain of salt, find them amusing, and agree with everything they have to say about anything. If you have the gumption, will, and sheer determination to be somehow offended, remember that you’re being offended by a semi-fictional character, which makes you inferior.

The Patron Saint Of Spitting In The Wind is self-assured, cocky, vain, arrogant, nostalgic, thoughtful, analytical, opinionated, unwavering, witty, charming, better looking than you, immensely strong, and always right. Frequently disgusted by modern commercial activities and suspicious of apparent attempts at more considerate alternatives, everything the present day offers serves merely to undermine our hero's irrefutable image that everything was better in the 1990s, albeit with exceptions. Undeterred, they rise up and spit in the face of everything and everyone, because they probably have the temerity to question that image. In the humble, factual opinion of The Patron Saint Of Spitting In The Wind, they don't make records like they used to, they don't make games like they used to, they don't make movies like they used to, and the same goes for furniture, art, athletes, television chefs, post offices, mine shafts, fire, and anything else that springs to mind. If you disagree, our benevolent hero will do their best to make you understand the correct point of view, because they have your best interests at heart. Indulge in the writings of The Patron Saint Of Spitting In The Wind, and smile, laugh, and agree compliantly, and much more, whilst experiencing all of your sensibilities and expectations of human courtesy and humility grossly insulted and beaten with an ugly stick.